What I am Wearing:
Ann Taylor Black and White Stripes Top (here) | Uniqlo Black Leggings Pants (here) | Uniqlo Black Women Cashmere Blended Stand Collar Coat (sold out, try this here) | Old Navy Winter Ankle Boots (here) | Aldo Camel Tote (here)
A few years ago, I decided to walk the heart and process of Forgiving and Forgetting because I felt stuck. It was not an easy task. I had to revive some unfortunate events in the process and shed a lot of tears. For a number of years I had built walls around me as a defense mechanism in fear of being hurt. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. Unfortunately, I didn’t see it that way. To me, I was just protecting myself not aware of the wisdom in Proverbs that says:”As water reflects the face so one’s life reflects the heart.”
I will find that out quickly enough. I was at my best in many areas in my life and I started to believe that I needed no one but me, myself, and I. After all, I arrived where I was all by myself…all by my spiritually, mentally, and relationally void self. You see, the woman that people saw outside with the smile, the style, the self-confidence, and the successful career was screaming for help inside. I was leading but needed and wanted to be led. I was helping but needed and wanted to be helped. I was comforting but needed and wanted to be comforted. Everything started to crumble around me.
I hit rock bottom but in that rock bottom, I found my Rock! God’s help came in ways that I didn’t expect. I expected God to make all my problems go away in a twinkle of an eye so that I can start fresh. I realized quickly that God was interested more in the state of my heart more than anything else. That frustrated me a bit because I wanted God to do things my way. The God I had heard of is like the genie in the lamp. You rub the lamp. He comes out and grants your wish. Then He goes back in until further notice.
This God I was getting to know was different. He opened the eyes of my heart to see that I am His creation, His masterpiece and I needed to take all my broken pieces back to Him: my Creator, my Source, and my Father. The God that I now know wanted a personal relationship with me. He wanted me to trust Him enough to surrender my broken self to Him in exchange for His very best.
Remember, I was at my lowest so all God was pretty much getting was my broken, hurt, disillusioned, and suspicious self. I mean I had done so many wrongs, I had lost count. I had been so hurt that I didn’t trust no one, not even myself. God showed me that I needed to embark in the heart and process of forgiving and forgetting my past in order to move on.
The heart and process of forgiving and forgetting was easier said than done. Actually the whole process was frightening but I now understand that those hurts in my past were paralyzing me to the point that I was a prisoner to them. Once I realized how much power I was giving to my past to the expense of my present and my future, I chose to let go by reopening the doors to those dark places and face them heart and head on.
The heart and process of forgiving and forgetting enabled me to bring closure one by one for good with God’s help. Today, I no longer view my past with guilt, shame and anger. That’s the forgiving part! I now view my past as a series of lessons learned along the way to make me who God created to be. That’s the forgetting part!
The heart and process of forgiving and forgetting is an ongoing process because we are all flawed beings loving others as best as we know so . I was reminded of that during our 21 days Daniel Fast this year as we covered 21 Days WELLthy Inspirations to add fuel to the fasting journey and one of the topic was about forgiveness.
The heart and process of forgiving and forgetting teaches us that once you bring closure and start on a clean slate to remember that love is freely given but trust is earned. People are quick to jump on the fact that once you have forgiven them, you should trust them again. I say not so fast because once trust is broken, the work needs to be put in to reestablish it.
We are all humans, however, I know and serve a perfect God who is the epitome of forgiving and forgetting an imperfect being like me. He was asking me to do the same for others. I choose the heart and process of forgiving and forgetting as much as I can for a better relationship with My Father, myself, my husband, my children and others. In the heart and process of forgiving and forgetting I have freed myself from the negative emotions and feelings that were preventing me from achieving my best. This is the best gift we can give to ourselves and others!
WELLthy Mom NODte